The loss of a steady income has led to me being on the road and reliant on the generosity of others to meet my needs. Under these conditions I could hardly expect people to provide extended football coverage.

I am in Boulder, Colorado now and will need to manifest the funds for more than basic cable if I am to watch any football of note. Boulder is a lovely city. Colorado is a wonderful state. Obviously the gods thought this sufficient abundance and have not seen fit to bless this land with a decent football team. Too much of good thing being bad for us, I guess.

Fortunately I have manifested a roof over my head. A space that is lacking in distractions so I have plenty of time to meditate and read. I trust I will soon have my laptop repaired and will be able to see some of the playoff games.

Unfortunately this season of disruption has been drawn to an early close. I shall use the time between this season and the next to manifest a secure base in terms of finances and a place to stay. Like many teams my season is over but unlike many teams I have all the support I need to make next year a season of great joy, celebration and many hours of football.

May the year ahead be filled with Light for all of you. May your teams act sensibly in the draft. May the gods bless us next year with officials who can call the game correctly.

Be at peace. Be well. Be.

Before I left Portland a friend and customer told me he found it too painful to come into the coffee shop and see how much I had been beaten down. What neither of us realized at the time was it had little to do with the coffee shop or a boss who stole from me. We always need to look for the underlying reasons for our displeasure or anger. The obvious surface expressions arise from months of long-term negativity.

Over the past few days my soul searching has led me to the unenviable realization I have never been happy or content with life for longer than a week. Looking back through my forty-three years it is hard to pinpoint this week. Still a week feels right. I believe this to be true and will trust my intuition. Forty-three seasons where all I can say is some seasons were not as bad as others yet none were pleasant.

Fortunately since I have been forced to observe my teams playing badly or to watch bad teams doing exactly what I expect of them this season I realize a profound shift needs to take place. In response to the immediate “You think?” or “No shit Sherlock” all I can say is this is not a new realization. Getting off the anti-depressants was a time when I decided I wanted a change. Fifteen years ago or more. One of the few decisions in my life I know was correct.

Today I look around and I think of how much I have grown spiritually. The process of evolution will eventually bring the worst team to a point where they can win a game or two. I will not wait until the off season. I will begin to work harder at my game right here right now. Small steps are what is required. Whenever I begin to feel sad or despondent I will think of a friend. One smile on top of another smile with each passing day will add up.

Hopefully my teams will realize the importance of small steps. One first down. One pass completed. One snap where the line held its ground. I face a personal first and ten. Let’s see if I rise to the challenge or sink as quickly as the Seasqwuaks hopes of a playoff game.

Throughout the game I diligently sought for the underlying cause to the lack of effort by the Jacksonville players. Nobody who calls themselves a professional, in any sport, would play with such a lack of effort without good reason. My search for the truth was rewarded.

Many, many points behind and needing at least three scores Jacksonville decided to run over six minutes off the clock. Obviously they felt the Titans needed a demonstration of how to close out the game when you are ahead. Adding further insult to injury this drive ended with a Jacksonville receiver handing off the ball to a Titans defender in the in zone.

Now it may well be the Jacksonville coach forgot there are only four quarters in a football game. The home crowd of Jacksonville fans were as perplexed as I was at the play calling.  When you are behind by quite a margin it is expected you will play with a sense of urgency found in an eighty-year-old man with an erection. He knows there is no time to waste. He knows every second counts. There is no way he is going to let this opportunity slip bye.

The only resemblance between the Jacksonville coach and an eighty-year-old man was a lack of mental alertness and energy. Before taking on the role of leadership you must consider if you are ready to take on the responsibility not only of the position you are offered but also of the entire team working for you. The Jacksonville coach showed absolutely no desire to win this game. This defeatist energy flowed strongly through each and every team member on the field.

Nobody displayed any fire, drive or desire to win from the first whistle until the last. The challenge for the players will be to shake this energy off them even after the coach has been sent on his way. Hopefully they will fire his sorry ass soon.

Unfortunately the energy of his attitude will have permeated the facilities and the squad. Shaking off this energy is hard enough when you are aware of it. The Jacksonville squad has lived under this miasma for so long I doubt they are able to remember how good it can feel to play the game well.

The best course of action for the organization will be to get rid of the coach and take the squad away for a week to a tranquil setting where they can watch videos of when they were playing well. A highlight film of each squad member is in order even if it means showing film of their college games. You cannot play better until you are feeling better.

I cannot see how anybody can begin to feel better playing for the current coach. The gods know I hope they prove me wrong. I am open to a miracle occurring in the life of the coach and every player. The best way I can give the team this space is to take this lesson and apply it to any area where I am in a leadership role. This will prove invaluable in helping me stay on track.

You see the bell always tolls for ourself. Like the Seattle organization San Francisco is blissfully ignorant they are in a rebuilding phase. This is an uncomfortable process for fans because it asks the true fan to look within himself and see what changes need to be made. Yes, I know it is easier to blame the players and the coaches. This is an effective method for living in denial in all areas of your life. Boo the actions of others. Keep putting other people down so you can hold an exaggerated opinion of your own worthiness. Wimps!

Let me make this as simple as I can for these poor cretans. The bell tolls for everybody. Yes, even you. You are no more separate from your team than a condom from an erection. You are as big a prick as the player you deride. Being a spiritual fan does not necessarily mean you will never criticize a player but it means you will do so well aware it is an avoidance tactic. This awareness will draw you back to the root cause of the problem much quicker than before.

Avoidance of change is only natural since it requires you to approach yourself with love, kindness and a lack of judgment. You need to turn inwards and face your bleak inner world. Few of us enjoy looking at this space devoid of the slightest glimmer of joy, love and a flickering expression of light we fear may go out at any moment. The true fan may not want to do this but he will do this for his team.

There is a simplicity to the solution for any team that is playing badly that is lost in our attachment to derision. Coupled with our fear of the opinions of others there is no hope in hell of the San Francisco fans or Seattle fans or Jacksonville fans doing what is needed to assist their team. The simple solution is one seen as unmanly. The solution is to open your heart. The worse things appears on the surface the more love is being requested by the situation.

Now for the kicker in the process. Through the team the Universe is answering your call for more love. The more love you extend to others the more love will filter back into you. Truly loving anybody or anything replenishes you. True love will never drain your energy only increase your energy and brighten your day. I know it isn’t easy to love in the face of derision from other fans who mock your team’s performance. Knowing something isn’t easy is no reason to avoid doing what is required. Grow a set and step up to the plate.

In all honesty fans would have to admit they have no idea what fifty thousand or more letters of encouragement and support for their football team would do to improve their play. When was the last time a team playing badly was flooded with encouraging mail? When was the last time a stadium was filled with fans bearing placards of support for a team with a losing record?

Look upon this time as a period when you can get your own house in order and rise with your football team when their house cleaning is complete. Until you accept the bell is tolling for you it will continue to toll in all areas of your life experience. Tend to your house before the sound of the bells becomes a fire alarm. Nobody can silence the bells for you. They can assist you with guidance but the application of knowledge is required for you to become wise. Nobody can become wise on your behalf.

Love your team and with each fumble, dropped pass or missed field goal love them a little more. Trust me when I tell you that as a Seattle fan I know it is a painful but rewarding process. This process has now entered its third season and still I am being asked to open more. Stopping is not an option since it would mean no longer being a fan. Go Seasquawks! you bunch of mangy parakeets.

Pitiful, incompetent, insipid and displaying all the backbone of a jellyfish the current crop of Seattle wannabe football players ought to be offering their employer most of their paycheck. Enduring their recent performances as a fan has been hard enough. Can you imagine having to actually pay these guys thousands of dollars on top of this misery? Talk about rubbing salt in the wounds. I think I would prefer to have sex with my psycho ex-girlfriend. Never thought I would ever consider this again.

What is heart wrenching is knowing there is simply not a granule of spiritual insight within the organization. No doubt there are plenty of religious folk in the organization but what is needed now is some spiritual insight. There is a profound difference but that is for another blog. E-mail me if you wish to gain further clarity on this point. I shall explain in the off chance of somebody associated with the organization coming across this blog.

I may be wrong, it has happened once or twice, but I picture the following scene unfolding amongst the Seasqwuaks players and coaches. They will all get together to watch a repeat of their abysmal performance. Then they will get themselves worked up into a frenzy and rush out to practice harder; lift more weights and say nice things like “We let the fans down”, “We will perform much better this week” (as if any fan believes they could play any worse or will play better) and from the coach something along the lines of “I take full responsibility”.

Pray for them my fellow fans for they do not have a clue. How in all of creation can you expect to transform your organization by doing the same things that created this mess in the first place? How do they expect to find the golden nugget of wisdom while panning for gold in a sewage farm? Sad, oh so very, very sad.

The outer world is a reflection of your inner world. Here is the spiritual wisdom the entire organization is missing. Nothing more and nothing less. You do not  need to be a therapist to be able to asses the inner world of the Seahawks squad. Look at their recent performances, even in the victories, and you will have to concede there are college teams with more drive, enthusiasm, cohesion and on-the-field ability.

What is required is a daily application of this wisdom. Spend this week doing nothing but working on the squad’s inner world and I will believe the organization, coaches and players are sincere in their desire to improve. Keep working on the outer with little or no thought to the inner and I will believe these same people do not give a damn.

Let me assure you this is not Monday quarterbacking. There isn’t a squad out there who will not be playing better after following my customized training schedule for a month. Obviously it is easy to get the Seasqwuaks to play better but even the top teams will show further improvement.

I will even allow the organization itself to decide what my services are worth after I have worked with the squad. All I need is a modest salary and a fund for training expenses while I work. The rest can be a bonus if the organization believes I have made a difference.  Heck, if there are any players who wish to improve their game they can contact me. This way you can feel good about the fact you are using a portion of your paycheck for the good of your employer.

Let me also assure the doubter I am willing to do the same work I will ask of any of my clients outside of the football related drills. I will use the same methods to create a diet, fitness training, health and inner work routine for myself.

The only thing you need to realize before enlisting my aid is that I will not waste my time or your time putting up with bullshit. People have been cutting you enough slack and allowing you to dump your crap into their lives for long enough. One last thing to remember is when I am done with you all areas of your life will be transformed and you will no longer be able to return to your old sorrowful whining.

Watching teams who I have no attachment towards made me realize how much I enjoy football. I was watching the Chiefs play and enjoyed the skill shown by their players.  The longing that my teams be able to play this well could not even mar this joy.

No doubt there will be a Sunday or a Monday evening when the Seahawks appear on TV and I will be reminded of the changing seasons that occur within the football season. This Sunday I felt the joy of spring in the lack of attachment. The Seahawks will either bring the depths of winter or the height of summer with them.

The good thing about supporting the Seahawks or Jacksonville Jaguars is the lack of middle ground. They are either great or extremely bad. A roller coaster ride that plummets from the greatest of heights to the bottom of a long, steep dip in the tracks and just as quickly.

Maintaining your spiritual equanimity is challenging from one set of downs to the next. You certainly get your spiritual Pilates workout with these guys. God bless them, at least until I am able to bless them. No rush since I am going to be watching for many, many, many seasons to come.

NFL.com allowed me to wallow in the misery of a piss-poor performance by the Seasqwuaks and to make a note of an equally bad performance by Jacksonville. Observing my teams dying before my very eyes I decided it was time to make use of this energy. I had two choices – embrace death or transform the energy of death.

There are a lot of phone numbers in my cellphone from eight years in Portland. A vast majority I will not need again. I began the process of deleting these numbers. Then it was time to clean house in my gmail account. Purging will stir up some old feelings and reunite one with the illusion of loss. Far better to get it all done at once then go cook myself a nice meal for dinner and do some deep meditation to shift the dregs of this energy out of my body.

Walking through this waterfall of disconcerting energy is an opportunity to become clear on what is important to you. I get to look at my life and ask myself “What will make me happy? When the day has gone to Hell in a hand basket and I am totally dissatisfied with my life where do I turn to find joy?” From the ashes of the abysmal performances of my teams rises the knowledge of those things that are truly important to me. They must be incredibly powerful to shift this pall of darkness from me in an hour or two. I find it good to be aware of these things even on the days when my team plays well.

There are two things I find incredibly useful in these dark times: meditation and doing something for a friend. The meditation must come first or else the energy will be carried into the task for a friend or two. I guess it is a two-step meditative process. First we fill ourselves with Light aided by the Beings of Light. Then I allow my love for my friends to life the dregs of the negativity.

All will be well again in a little while thanks to my friends on all levels. Consider the excitement of what you will plant when you gaze upon the dead space within. This is going to be great!

ps: the next time you travel for an away game, Seattle, I suggest you take the defense with you or save us all some agony and forfeit the game!

This does provide us with the most glaring spiritual lesson we can take from such incidents. the tool does not make the man. No matter how good or expensive your equipment if you lack the knowledge to apply the equipment it will not serve you well.

Twice the official approached the replay equipment but since he lacked any knowledge of the rules of the game he would have served the Jacksonville coaching staff best by admitting the futility of any challenge ahead of time. This would have saved a time out and sowed the energy of honesty into his own future. Now he will have to reap the harvest of his incompetence.

The wise spiritual fan acquaints himself with how Universal laws apply to his life before going out and investing in stuff. His cultivation of self-awareness allows him to be honest in his assessment of what equipment will prove beneficial to himself and those around him. I cannot drive a car. I do not go out and pretend I can drive by purchasing myself a car.

Our fine official on the other hand, despite knowing he lacked the knowledge to overturn any decision on the field, still approached the equipment as if he knew what he was doing. All the equipment did was to highlight how little he knew.

The other reminder we were granted was not to trust technology to raise a man’s level of competency. No matter how much assistance you give a man he can only bring his own level of manhood with him and not an iota more. There is no technological marvel that transforms a boy into a man and any lady will tell you the passage of years is insufficient on its own to add wisdom or maturity to a guy.

So we learn to find peace in an imperfect world thanks to the officials. We learn to look at ourselves and realize we need to put forth effort in transforming ourself from a boy to a man. We are made aware that this effort needs to be both external and internal, with the greater emphasis being on the inside.

This afternoon will reveal if my other team can defeat San Francisco. I am grateful the Pussy Cats have already given me the comfort of a fine victory in the face of officialdom.

Excuses, as any spiritual aware fan knows all too well, are nothing more than a denial of one’s personal power and freedom of choice. One has the freedom to say “No” to placing oneself in a position to fail. Blaming others is the hallmark of a man who’s thought process hasn’t outgrown the juvenile phase.

Last year the Seahawks were atrocious. They drove me to the point where I allowed pain, discomfort and despair to arise within me. I chose these experiences. They are not to blame for my choices. Once again I am here to support them and the Jacksonville Pussy Cats. Two of the biggest groups of overpaid thieves in the NFL. They even give the officialdom a run for their money when determining who the largest group of thieves in the NFL really are.

The next challenge awaiting me is fighting off those ignorant people who would try to have me work on weekends – “Father forgive them for they don’t have a freaking clue and I do not know how”! being in a new environment with new people I understand it is not easy for them to realize the importance of football transcends religion or personal philosophy.

After two disastrous but fortunately brief relationships I said to the gods there has to be something better than sex! There is no way so many souls would show up here if this sweaty, frightening, torturous experience was the best Earth had to offer. Eleven years ago they offered me football as a replacement and this remains my greatest success in negotiating with the gods for several lifetimes.

There is the sadness of leaving what has been my most comfortable prison for the past eight years.The trouble with climbing out of a rut is it affects all areas of your life. The joys of dragging myself out of bed early on a Sunday to go shopping at Wholefoods and rushing back to start cooking breakfast before 10 am and then trying to wake a friend to join me for the game are no more. The early morning prayers timed to finish just before the bus arrived are still available.

My new hometown does not have a Wholefoods. Fortunately the Beings of Light travel well so I shall have their company for my early morning meditation. Krishna is on call these days. A new football season and a new Being of Light to work with all at the same time. There is a silver lining to every storm cloud.

The biggest challenge is the necessity of manifesting the extra funds to provide myself with the NFL Network and if I am really lucky a little extra for the college season. Supporting the Denver football teams, at the college or NFL level, is as appealing as watching three hours of a retirement home cheer leading squad.

A dry season may be what I need to manifest the funds to ensure I never have to go through this experience again. I hope not. A week or two at the most is what I am hoping the sentence will be. Looking back at the past two seasons of supporting Seattle and Jacksonville ought to convince any gods I have done my time of suffering. Fortunately Jacksonville plays Denver this week and Seattle plays Denver next weekend so I get to watch my teams while setting up the extra football coverage.

Donations most gratefully accepted via PayPal or cash. Contact me at designsoflight@gmail.com for details.

Now I am off to prepare myself for the game. Being in Colorado means I have an extra hour to get things done before the game starts.

Enjoy the season everybody! Raise a glass or two of the good stuff for me, if you will!

Go Seasqwuaks! Go Pussy Cats!

The commentators have repeatedly mentioned that the players and staff of the Seattle organization have no idea what to do to turn things around. This is hardly surprising since they continue to focus on nothing but football matters. What they do not realize is what all true spiritual fans learn early – football and life and spirituality are all intertwined. There is no separation unless you are too gutless to embrace your existence with a healthy dose of courage. One of the hardest tests society sets us up for is the one that asks us to embrace the coward within in loving acceptance.

Yes, the rot that runs through the Seahawks organization is cowardice. I cannot commit totally to the concept of football being my life since if I screw up in this area I need to be able to look at other areas of my life to make me feel good. A lousy quarterback I might be but I am a great dad. A lousy defensive lineman I might be but I do a lot of volunteer work that helps many people improve their life. These statements might be true (I hope they are true but right now this is mere poetic license) on the surface. Many people, even other Seahawks fans, will say there are more important aspects of life than football. After all, football is just a game. What a load of hogwash!

We are here to learn and to grow. Every day we have the opportunity to grow and if you spend so much time playing football then it takes no genius to figure out you have chosen to grow by playing football. I grow by writing this blog. I grow by making coffee. I grow by honoring the physical form and taking care of myself. No area supersedes the other in importance. All areas of my life combine together to form a complete whole.

How much of a better dad would the quarterback be if things are going well with the team? How could being happier with your life not improve all your relationships? Happiness on the field spills over into the volunteer work of our defensive linesman. There are ways to let go of the discomfort of playing badly before you step into another role but if the Seahawks personnel knew of these techniques they would have achieved better results this season.

Aum is more than a one word mantra to be chanted on a daily basis. Aum is a reminder that all is intertwined and to let go of any divisive thoughts. The true spiritual football fan knows the importance of being at peace in all areas of his life. This is the goal of every moment between games since only the attainment of the peace that passes all understanding will bring you back after such an insipid season by your team.

Seattle have the players to turn things around in a short period of time. They simply have to be willing to embrace a new paradigm. A paradigm that brings peace to all aspects of their lives. However, as I am well aware, the attachment to drama is one of the most challenging to resist. I will continue to wish the Seahawks well and will wait for an opportunity to manifest itself where I can be of service, in person, to this troubled organization.